What Really Happened?
by ThreeBooksInTheFire
Summary: What really happened after the incident after the Yellow Box? Some fans say Matsu got over it. Some say he got drunk, and then over it. What really happened was quite different... Crack!fic, MatsuXIde... I blame Kira.


**OW! MY BRAINS! They are broken! I don't own Death Note, or anything else I mentioned in this... At all... D:**

Matsuda was by far the most effected by the events at the Yellow Box than anyone else. He had killed… someone… and uh… You know what, never-mind. I can't do angst.

So basically a few weeks later he got his ass drunk (again) and stumbled to Misa's house/apartment/shrine place because he has the hots for her as well as Sayu. But Sayu wasn't sane, too bad. Otherwise he would have gone over there and had some 'fun' with her but people who don't know what's happening aren't fun. And besides, she lived with her mother. And her mother was SCARY. D: So he went to the place where Misa worshipped Light. Only Light was dead. But she didn't know that.

He walks in the door and Misa is all like "HI THERE MATSU!!1! WANNA HAVE A TEA PARTY?! IT WON'T BE AS MUCH FUN BECAUSE LIGHT ISN'T HERE, BUT-"

Matsu became emo and despressed then, because he was drunk and even mentioning Light made him emo and depressed. Misa was unhappy because Misa should be able to make anyone happy and Matsu being emo and depressed undermined her self-confidence so she turned off the light and went to cut herself but then she realized Light wouldn't like that and decided not to. She got out the tea, then did something unthinkable.

"Oh and by the way, can you go and turn on the LIGHTS, Matsu?" Misa asked.

OHNOSHEDIDN'T. NOBODY ASKS EMO!MATSU TO TURN ON LIGHTS. NO ONE. Misa found herself… dead. Quite dead. So dead, in fact, that she was dead. Like, bleeding from falling off a very tall building in interesting clothing dead. Matsu was pleased by her sudden costume change, as well as being able to see her in those clothes on the train ride to the nearest tall building, as well as the fact that the annoying blond was dead now.

Ide, off in magic!land, poofed into appearance and was just like "Sigh. Matsu's gone insane." And yes, he did just say 'sigh' out loud. As well as being a little emo because magic!land!Ide is emo.

And he wore a black suit instead of a blue one. OHYESNOMNOMNOM

By killing Misa, emo!Matsu leveled up! DUNDUNDUNDAADUNDUNDAAA!

_Congratulations! Your emo!Matsu evolved into-_

Insane!Matsu pulled a knife out of his boot and skinned that annoying text block on the bottom of the screen. Oh yes, he was insane. So very insane that Ide hid both Misa's and TextBlock's death from the entire world. It would have traumatized the children.

Ide tried to give Matsu an Ever Stone that would keep him from getting even crazier but Matsu used it to kill a therapist randomly and Ide decided that giving Matsu any more weapons would be bad. Very bad. So Ide just kinda watched as Matsu started killing anyone who looked at him. And that was a lot of people: I mean, seriously! He was covered in blood and angst and his clothes were ripped! FANGIRLS, ATTACK!

…I think we all know what happens next.

* * *

List of Dead PPL:

Misa Amane

Annoying TextBlock

Therapists. 87 of them.

Fangirls. 1992981092 of them. (THAT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND XDD)

Kiyomi Takada

That chick that liked L in like the 11th episode.

Volital's Brain

Halle Linder

Holly Short

Dustfinger (OH NO!!)

Some random kid dressed in green and had a fairy. I'm not sure if it was Peter Pan or Link- All the hair was shaved off and the eyeballs stabbed. DAMN, Insane!Matsu is insane!

And yet, Matt had no reason to cry because Ide hid all the deaths.

And then somehow Ide got Matsu to… Un evolve… Back into emo!Matsu.

"OH NOES!! WHAT HAS I DONES?!" Matsu cried and cried and Ide… watched… (Ide is the real Stalker-san. Trufax.)

Ide eventually stopped stalking and put his hand on Matsu's shoulder. "You were compelled by the insanity of authors. Don't feel bad- it wasn't your fault."

"You always loved me Ide."

"…What?" O.o

And then Matsu evolved back into Insane!Matsu again and forced Ide to marry him and Matsu promised not to kill anyone else if he could beat Ide all he wanted. Ide agreed because is secretly one of those people who enjoy pain. Emo!Ide is emo.

And then Ulquiorra from Bleach got in on that action because emo threesomes are better than emo twosomes. The fangirls screamed and all was well in the world... Not really, but...ASGFAFGSAFSGSHUTUPIKEELYOUNAO!

The end! (OF SANITY) (UHOHZ)


End file.
